@AnniemuMary: My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: ME: u know what they say, drink with one eye open WIFE: they don’t say that, you’re drunk ME: *closes other eye* it is very dark in here
@causticbob: I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
@captaincoximus: If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily
@TheMichaelRock: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church.