@ToxicProbably: My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
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@Goldishocks: Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom.
@BuckyIsotope: Vladimir Putin seems like the kind of guy who would fake a sneeze and flip the board over when he's losing at Risk.
@Elizasoul80: I walk around in public saying "wait for me guys" so everyone thinks I have friends.
@Kyle_Lippert: A smart Halloween costume would be an angel costume because if you died, you could just sneak your way into heaven & be like "I'm back yall"