@vineyille: My hateful coworkers discovered that I eat my lunch in the air ducts and now they've taken to smacking the air ducts with a broom.
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@morganalxander: Hello my name is Morgan and I used to think lingerie was just a fancy way to say laundry
@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.
@bacon_gillepic: You said clothes were 50% off But not one woman in here is topless That false advertising!
@sageboggs: How to Be Good At Twitter 1. don't be 2. don't have that be your goal 3. aim higher 4. seriously, go outside or something