@charliedelta7: My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
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@Tmoney68: Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs. I couldn't do it. My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary.
@CaniacMONK: My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
@iTomFoolery: I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on.
@shariv67: There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.