@DrinkingatWork: My head feels like something Picasso would have drawn.
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@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.
@Burtslorp: *Jesus looks over bill from last supper* "It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver." "I got this!" Judas yells, almost too quickly.
@juneohara65: Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store.