@DrinkingatWork: My head feels like something Picasso would have drawn.
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@youngestneil: I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask "are we there yet?" when they're fully aware they now live in a car
@Gre_Gone: Praying Mantis: *attends church, devours husband* Agnostic Mantis: *stares suspiciously up at the sky, devours husband*
@michaeljhudson: I flip off the rollercoaster camera, then buy a mug with the picture on it, ride it again, flip off the camera again while sipping my mug
@therealeatwood: BRAIN: Wake up! Someone’s knocking on the door of your hotel room! ME: No one is knocking and I’m not at a hotel. BRAIN: Haha, you’re up tho