@RoyalThough: My heart says food, food and more food...but my jeans say, for the love of God, eat salad😪
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@mommy_cusses: Apparently you can't just say, "Not my circus, not my monkeys," and leave your kids at the store.
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.
@MomOnFire: Big Foot rental costumes are surprisingly realistic and terrifying at 4am around the bonfire at the party I wasn't invited to.
@titusbb: I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.