@rz0ndy: My hell is a giant Bath & Body Works store ...where all the women answer yes/no questions with "stories".
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@SamGrittner: I asked my mom what she wanted today and she said "she just wanted me to be happy," so I'm on ecstasy petting a dolphin right now.
@AudreyPorne: "Are you on Facebook?" "No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline" (Nailed it)
@hipstermermaid: "500 Days of Summer" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming.
@MelissaDawn1974: Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it.