@rz0ndy: My hell is a giant Bath & Body Works store ...where all the women answer yes/no questions with "stories".
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@causticbob: When the doctor told me I only had six months to live, I killed him violently with his own pencil. Worked a treat. Got me twenty years.
@jsteele3966: Day three of MAN COLD. I feel death lurking. Its waiting for me to give up. Stay strong! Think of the cat. He'll eat you if you die.
@Fred_Delicious: I bet Lincoln is looking down like "dude, trust me, that is not a bad night in a theater"