@BeardSpice: My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie.
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@TankCesar: How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen? Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....
@underchilde: Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences and why not to talk to your girlfriend about weight gain.
@Bagyants: Power Rangers taught me that the way to solve a problem is to pose in front of it aggressively until it explodes
@jimmytorosian: Pretty arrogant of Red Delicious Apples to put "delicious" in their name. Like calm down. You're still just an apple. You ain't no prize.