@BeardSpice: My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie.
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@SamePageDifDay: Soo... I guess when he asked for my number he didn't mean how many lovers I've had?
@aholealex: "Damn girl are you a dam, girl? Cuz your water just broke haha" yes we will go to the hospital in a minute honey, jesus christ im tweeting
@TheNardvark: Just got my invitation to Lady Gaga's wedding reception. I can choose between beef or chicken. Not for the meal, that's the dress code.
@chickenmclovin: New way to avoid pregnancy: Wear double condom with chilli powder in between. If outer breaks she will know, if inner breaks u will know.