@DrRocktopoid: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the little raccoon" 'cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and carried Lyme disease.
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@R0ckG0d88: If Target didn't want anyone singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" into a hairbrush they shouldn't have it playing over the store intercom.
@MouthOfSass: Just found some clothes my ex left here. Perfect timing since I'm out of toilet paper.
@novicefather: My 3yo just told me that he loves to make babies and I don't know what it means but I'm terrified.