@AimByWhiskey: My home security system is a nerf sword by the door. My liquor cabinet has a retina scanner, 3 pit bulls & my 7th grade lesbian gym teacher.
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@shanethevein: I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. I'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty.
@Blarebare: I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face.
@gtfml: When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
@aveuaskew: Are you okay? Yes Did you take your cold medicine? Umm yes Why are you so nervous? I never thought throw pillows would ask so many questions