@DanMentos: "My homework ate my dog" -student in python breeding class
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@TylerLinkin: On date night my wife took me to a place where you make your own pottery. I made an urn.
@BlindChow: [football game] *ref throws flag* Ref: *zebra noises* Players: What? Coaches: What? Fans: What? Zebra at home: *nodding* Good call good call
@ericsshadow: How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Today's lunch: Pan fried pork chops, cheesy hash brown casserole, peach cobbler, a quick defibrillation and two stents.