@DanMentos: "My homework ate my dog" -student in python breeding class
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@david8hughes: There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.
@_mcgoof: Pizza places should give away free pizza car air-freshners. Within 5seconds of sitting in your car, you WILL crave pizza.
@Home_Halfway: I have come up with the most awkward event of all time: the Father-Son wedding dance.
@ieatanddrink: I like telling car salesmen "Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do