@_AlanGarner_: My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, And they're like "It wasn't that hard."
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@super_morgasm: You shouldn't be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
@TheToxicWaster: Lindsay Lohan says she can't walk down the street without men chasing her. They're drug dealers Lindsay pay your debts..
@MumsieEsq: When your 3yo spits a chewed up wad of cheese into your hand and you're like "where did you find this, I didn't give you any cheese today?"
@LoveNLunchmeat: If someone dies from laced cocaine, does the coroner write "devastating blow" on the death certificate?