@heatherlou_: My house is clean so please don't eat or drink or come by or let my child come home.
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@PaulFrei: I imagine when you get to heaven they give you a box with all the sodas and snacks that vending machines cheated you out of your whole life.
@ceejoyner: ENEMY: can you smell that? That's fear. ME: the baked goods? ENEMY: no. focus on your fear. ME: we must be knife fighting behind a bakery
@KaliciaBo: "You are cute like a dog, Momma!" My daughter is very sweet but we must work on her ability to compliment.
@weenbeans: me: "okay I might as well just say it..I love you" girl dinosaur: "omg u have no idea how long I've waited for u to say that!" *meteorite*