@heatherlou_: My house is clean so please don't eat or drink or come by or let my child come home.
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@juneohara65: "Go ahead, caller. . ." "Yes, hello. My dog dug up a femur and I'd like to make soup. Would you suggest carrots or potatoes?"
@c_gawker: if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world
@discountzen: I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police.
@david8hughes: [leans over to kid watching Planet of the Apes in the theatre] Call them monkeys one more time & see what happens.