@heatherlou_: My house is clean so please don't eat or drink or come by or let my child come home.
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@Chumpstring: [invention of croutons] Let me put a few bread rocks on top of your salad. Trust me, people in neighboring cities will hear you eating this.
@juliussharpe: I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we're all millionaires, none of this matters."
@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who wanted his peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into triangles until you cut it into triangles