@Faceyspace: My house is really small until I can't find my phone.
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@hythemafia: MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very, very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.......
@birbigs: Russian skater just explained that he is "not a robot," proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics
@WheelTod: A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet