@JennyPentland: My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
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@noog: *playing Mortal Kombat* Her: Can I try? Me: Sure. Her: Which one of them shoots that Handookie thingie? Me: Hadouken? Her: Yea. Me: Leave.
@travisauruss: I think the closest I've come to playing romantic music at a girl's window is when I forgot to turn down "Eye Of The Tiger" at the drivethru
@ericsshadow: [wife frantically searching the house] Have you seen the kids, I've looked everywhere [me napping on couch] OMG HOW LONG HAVE WE HAD KIDS
@cbdoubleu: Sorry I burnt your degree from the University of Phoenix thinking that a better degree would rise from its ashes.