@JennyPentland: My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
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@MisterBombay: People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides
@hashtag_stacks: If I ever got kidnapped my kidnapper would be like 'why are you so good at sitting in one room for a long period of time without showering?'
@hippieswordfish: b-52's songs: -'love shack' -'hate shed' -'sad tent' -'happy igloo' -'frustrated RV' -'depression garage' -'melancholy lake house'