@3sunzzz: My husband and I have been spending a lot of time together. Now my boyfriend is pissed. It's like I can't win.
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@gorrdano: I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead.
@jazmasta: [kids party] "This bouncy castle is twice the price of last year" Dad no "That's.." Please no dad "..Inflation for you" *kids start crying*
@dearjhonletter: hate when i forget to bring a towel into the bathroom when i take a shower and have to dry off by doing karate in the mirror for 45 min