@3sunzzz: My husband and I have been spending a lot of time together. Now my boyfriend is pissed. It's like I can't win.
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@DontTouchMyWine: I’m the kind of girl who won’t stop until you’re screaming your safeword. Related: Your safeword’s the first 16 digits of your credit card.
@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine I would go back to the Star Wars era and kill baby Darth Vader
@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with