@3sunzzz: My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Izianikapani: "Do people really become like their pets?" I wonder, absentmindedly raising a leg above my head and staring into space.
@Brampersandon_: ME (wakes up from coma): whatve I missed WIFE: Trump's running for prez & the Cubs are favs to win the World Series M: haha ok but srsly tho
@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
@KalvinMacleod: [highschool reunion] CLASSMATE: I'm a top chef. You? ME: I'm an avoca C: a what M: an avoca C: what's an avoca do M: a top chef would know