@thedailymarker: My husband and I play this game where we buy potato chips the other one doesn't like so we don't have to share.
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@WilliamRodgers: "Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..." *Go to a bar you Hate *Put $50 in the Jukebox *Play nothing but Nickelback *Leave
@stephenjmolloy: Cop: "We'll catch the guy who murdered your husband." Tina: "My husband was murdered?!" Cop: "Shit! Sorry... I have some bad news..."
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want.
@JumpingJesusH: If you love a cat, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours to keep. If it doesn't, you drove far enough.