@LuvPug: My husband and kids have started humming Darth Vader's Imperial March whenever I walk into the room and I've never felt more complete
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@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first date] ME: so where are you from? HER: I'm Finnish ME: oh ok then [pulls her dinner plate over & starts eating her meal] HER: wtf?
@Roweboat13G: A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it.