@Nicoleroxxu: My husband doesn't like it when I say we are "married" with quotation marks.
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@PAT_E_ROCK: BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl.
@Smooheed: How to get out of a car in front of a large crowd of people Step 1: forget to take your seat belt off
@KarenLyneButler: When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don't sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I'm talking to you David Arquette.
@Marcmywords2: You can tell a lot about a person by what they swallow first when a cop pulls um over.