@darksideang: My husband gets so cranky when I come home from the pool with only a fraction of the kids I left with
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@rezox: funny when u get charged by a cash machine to get ur own cash out but then it tells u to cover ur pin to prevent getting robbed.
@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@peachesanscream: A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. So would mine, probably, if I was having sex with something made out of bacon.
@nPhelendriqal: A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.