@darksideang: My husband gets so cranky when I come home from the pool with only a fraction of the kids I left with
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@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@KeetPotato: barber 1: ugh this guy again, youre doing him this time [20mins later] barber 2: you coulda told me he turns around to answer every question
@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.