@darksideang: My husband gets so cranky when I come home from the pool with only a fraction of the kids I left with
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@juskewitch: The most troubling examples of sexism, homophobia and racism that I've ever heard are things I've said driving on the New Jersey Turnpike.
@Audenary: *notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*
@unburdenunbound: Google would like to use your current location. Allow/Deny? Allow *100 Google employees throw a party at my house*