@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.
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@Underchilde: My boss caught me sleeping on the job and told me to clean out my desk as if he didn’t just see how lazy I am.
@MariyaAlexander: What kind of outfit says "I want you to let me stand in your group so I don't look like a loser but I don't want to talk to any of you"?
@Book_Krazy: *Condom Co* [ok, don't let them know ur a frog] "Any ideas how we can make our condoms more pleasurable for her?" ME: Ribbit "Genius"