@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.
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@Sickayduh: "What's this ticket, officer?" - Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"
@murrman5: *nervously plays with tie* "I'm sorry. I'm no good during job interviews." That's ok, just let go of my tie and go on your side of the desk.
@FrenulumBreve: PIGEON MAGICIAN: I want you to pick a car, any car...DONT TELL ME!. Ok [shits on windscreen] is THIS the car you chose?
@PaperWash: I noticed you're eating that bag of popcorn one piece at a time. So how many people have you murdered?