@IamEveryDayPpl: My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jack_Wagon1: Sometimes when I get a retweet... I blow on my phone, twirl it and slide it into my belt holster, then ride off into the sunset like a dork.
@RobynPorteous: Wanna know why I hate Vapers? You smell donuts or cotton candy and turn a corner thinking 'mmmm I'm gonna treat myself to something tasty.' But NO. It's just Brad and his cloud of LIES.
@Kyle_Lippert: [Classroom in 2064] Student: So how did the war start? Teacher: Well you see, Seth Rogen and James Franco made a movie..
@StephenKing: Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles.