@IamEveryDayPpl: My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@cepheusjackson: WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
@Reverend_Scott: Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile. Robin: I'm so excited! *curtain opens* Robin: Bruce, that's a car bed... Batman: You're welcome.
@CodyJP9412: [creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very
@thatUPSdude: If you're buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it's probably because he bought is his condoms there too.