@IamEveryDayPpl: My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!
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@discoken: I wrote "Clarence sale" instead of "clearance sale" and now there are angry old ladies here looking for a husband.
@NicestHippo: Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle
@shatterpants: Sitting in traffic wishing I had a Sasquatch to lean out of the passenger window and make police car noises.