@the_mom_dot_com: My husband is doing that cute thing where he would happily drive into oncoming traffic & kill us all while trying to find a bug on his leg.
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@JustDontBugMe: When I found out that my neighbour is scared of dogs I bought one And I have never seen him since.
@charliedelta7: I taught my son how to spell beer so he'd stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge.
@Home_Halfway: I have come up with the most awkward event of all time: the Father-Son wedding dance.
@rickkondell: Saw a homeless guy at McDonald's begging for money, told him I'd buy him something to eat. He said no thanks, getting money for Taco Bell.