@SolelyB: My husband is going to be so surprised when he finds out the woman I've been sleeping with is way hotter than his girlfriend.
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@wildethingy: The trick is to leave enough details online so that a determined mysterious rich uncle can find you but not enough so random murderers can.
@mikeleffingwell: I always say "I was wondering when you'd find me" when I get in my car. That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll look cool as shit.
@TheWeirdWorld: I wonder how many medieval chefs were executed because the king’s food taster had food allergies