@SolelyB: My husband is going to be so surprised when he finds out the woman I've been sleeping with is way hotter than his girlfriend.
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@realHamOnWry: Me: Hey, just got back from a 3 hour walk. Her: But it's 20 below zero outside. Me: I had mitts. Her: Are you crazy? Me: No...Canadian.
@chuuew: DR: So, you're 36 years old, 4 foot tall & sound like a woman. How can I help you today, Mr Simpson? BART: I don't know where my hair starts
@TwatWaffler69: You think you're going to win this? I've been acting out potential fake arguments in the shower for years. You don't stand a chance.