@sara_ashlynn: My husband is out w/friends & I'm at home w/the kids. I'm going to sprinkle Legos under the covers on his side of the bed.
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@KalvinMacleod: [school] TEACHER: how was your summer? STUDENT: great, I grew a foot TEACHER: that’s cool, can I see it?
@SnellWarren: My mind is always on fast forward while my body's in slow motion. I'm just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture.
@AmishPornStar1: I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters