@Donna_McCoy: My husband keeps watching a tv show while complaining about how boring it is, & now I understand how he's stayed married to me for so long.
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@Reverend_Scott: FRIEND: wanna come over? ME: what's your dog up to? FRIEND: um, she's at the groomer- ME: THEN WHY ASK ME OVER
@Ygrene: [From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit
@KeetPotato: judge: "you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] "that's correct"