@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
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@UncleDuke1969: Superman: How'd you know? Lex: Know what? S: My secret identity! L: Whaddya mean? S: You called me a KENT!! L: That's NOT what I called you.
@Jen_Up_: 4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars.
@trentistweeting: "My date was cute but he couldnt perform in the bedroom." *cuts to me in bedroom butchering Wonderwall on guitar* i swear this never happens
@drinksmcgee: I always buy a woman a popsicle on the first date to get a feel for how things might go later.