@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@blaha_Who: My gf thought it was so cute when she found out I owned a pair of tap shoes Until I got drunk, and put them on
@EliTerry: "looks like a burrito fell out his pocket, hes crawling up to get it and crying. thats gonna cost points" - commentators on my snowboard run
@Dawn_M_: I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me.
@captainkalvis: [engagement party] brother: show us the ring! me: we dont have time to watch a classic horror movie Dave you dumb shit i'm gettin married