@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
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@MdUNH: If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem.
@1evilidiot: You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive.
@Ygrene: [Being murdered] (with every stab, i move my body so that the murderer strikes acupuncture points which, to his dismay, makes me feel great)