@StellaGMaddox: My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend.
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@pleatedjeans: I like my women like I like my moon: hidden behind a dark mist and worshipped by wolves
@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it
@Reverend_Scott: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.