@khook32: My husband really loves our new couch. In fact, he loves it so much he called me his exwife's name just so he could sleep on it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JKickinit30: [hiding in the bushes] Me:*whispering*they can't see me Cops: Sir. Your light up shoes are still flashing.
@BreadFoster: I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album.
@KalvinMacleod: [sky diving] INSTRUCTOR: questions before we jump? ME: do u think clams ever choke on their pearls? INSTRUCTOR: *pushes me out of the plane*
@Birdhumms: Growing up couldn't wait to have a room of my own and do whatever I liked. So why did I end up doing the exact opposite by getting married?