@shariv67: My husband said he bought the toupée for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I dont get men.
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@SteveSuckington: Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
@eileencurtright: Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system.
@Marlebean: They say a dog park is a great place to meet guys. I don't have a dog, but I walk around with a bag full of poop so I don't look weird.
@TheCatWhisprer: gas pump: do you want a receipt? Y/N me: *presses yes* gas pump: me: *pressing harder* YES gas pump: lol nope