@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.
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@rhysjamesy: I go trick or treating dressed as a postman early in the morning and do the postman's exact route one house ahead so no one trusts him.
@rolldiggity: 1. Take dozens of pictures of yourself sleeping. 2. Put them in coworker's drawer. 3. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!"
@_troyjohnson: *loads dryer* Fitted Sheet: HE'S BURNING US ALIVE! COME, SHIRT! COME, PANTS! HOP IN MY BOSOM AND I WILL FORM A PROTECTIVE BALL OF MOISTURE!