@Sassmouth14: My husband still waves to policemen like a 5 year old.
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@RealDMK: Daughter (5): "Daddy your tummy is big and bouncy just like our trampoline" Me: "Well you're short and can't spell chrysanthemum"
@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain. A white American White. American.
@SortaBad: Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car