@Lanecat2: My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know
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@MeganBaca1: Apparently "cheesecake & tacos" wasn't the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
@faizziy: Me: What's your strongest weakness? Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!
@flashember: [Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE
@MrsGoose69: Me: Where the hell are you going with those balloons? 4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons?! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons