@Lanecat2: My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know
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@murrman5: [in a meeting] ok a Dracula movie except he's new in town and biting is illegal but he befriends the pastors daught- "that's just Footloose"
@ChaseMit: America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone.
@taitutu: Judging by your selfie, I can't help wonder why your mother didn't try & sell you to a circus when you were younger.