@Lanecat2: My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know
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@Marlebean: Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good
@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
@PMTheron1: How much for the best friend? Manager : Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.