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@Lanecat2: My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know
@MattMcC1: "nice dog or cat or baby or whatever" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. "was it expensive?"
@Snarfernini: There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family
@BlairLoudly: Jogging but instead lying in bed with your eyes shut.
@tealbluejay: Putting clothes on an animal is like putting on an overcoat over your overcoat.
@64spoons: Got CPR and CCR confused. Ended up playing "Fortunate Son" on my boombox while watching a man die.