@turtledumplin: My husband's safe word is 'CRAMP!'
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@iwearaonesie: 9*picking his nose* wife:Get your finger out of your nose! me [alone in the bedroom] *takes finger out of nose* *whispers* How did she know?
@qwertying: Like a true gentlemen, I always put women and children first. I hate walking into spiderwebs...
@poppiesandcake: If what we are doing here is art, then my Tweets could be classified as kindergarten finger painting.
@primawesome: This transition of power reminds me of when my grandma turned over Thanksgiving duties to my mom and the night ended with police showing up.