@dreamsinchocola: My husbands signature move is running to town "real quick" and coming home 5 hours later.
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@HaleyMDriscoll: My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat.
@RainbowJohnJ: A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window.
@partlyfunny: If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.