@Tmoney68: My idea to call our weekend bicycling group the "Pedalphiles" was not well-received AT ALL.
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@JohnLyonTweets: My walk of shame is walking past the people I just said goodbye to because I went in the wrong direction and had to go back.
@AndyAsAdjective: It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports.
@aka_fatman: *puts seashell up to ear* Me: I think I can hear the ocea- Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days. Me: (to friend) It's for you.
@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.