@shutupmikeginn: my idiot dog just ate a box of condom. i was gonna eat those buddy
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@Brampersandon_: *Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- "Omg Yes!" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already.
@Thrill_Tweeter: Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family.