@jilleb163: My "I'm enraged!" status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don't read well.
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@CulturedRuffian: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.
@bridger_w: "Then it's agreed. We'll meet back in this same place in 10 years." -Me to some dishes in my sink
@Smooheed: I like to make things awkward at family gatherings by walking up behind each person and whispering 'I know what you did last Christmas'
@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right