@rovingthought: My insurance does not cover Jesus taking the wheel. I checked.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ThoughtOtter: [blind date] OK don't let her know you're a remote control "Your eyes are beau- *sinks into seat crevice, lost for weeks* DAMMIT NOT AGAIN
@SchuylerPryor: Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs.
@Maui_Speaks: Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle.