@rovingthought: My insurance does not cover Jesus taking the wheel. I checked.
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@afairiesweetear: the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago
@jenyb4: Before I had a kid I thought, god, I wish I could say "please put your shoes on" 17,000 times every morning. My dreams have come true.
@aveuaskew: Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.