@onelongbender: My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.
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@bigdumbbrad: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.
@BuckyIsotope: I hate my job. The work sucks. The people suck. The pay sucks. *looks up and sees motivational poster on wall* Well this changes everything
@Carbosly: There is no life on earth without water.nBecause without water, there is no coffee.nAnd without coffee, I'll kill you all.