@elle91: My Internet was out for a while so I went downstairs to talk to my mom. She seems nice.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above
@SomeChrisTweets: Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.
@ojedge: [first day as a masseuse] Me: [closing book] "…& they all lived happily ever after" Customer: "That's not what I meant by 'happy ending'"
@JJSummertime: Now I lay me down to rest. I pray your TC loves you best. If he does choose another, I sincerely hope it's not your mother.