@elle91: My Internet was out for a while so I went downstairs to talk to my mom. She seems nice.
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@GrandadJFreeman: There are 3 types of pain... 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!
@BlindChow: In the 17th century, villagers would burn down entire neighborhoods to combat diseases such as bubonic plague, typhus, and gluten.
@GarryShandling: If you're head of the CIA and can't hide an extramarital affair it means it can't be done. Case closed, fellas.
@iAmDelFreaky: This is embarrassing. I tunneled through my wall to escape work and ended up in my boss's office. He's watching me tweet this. I'm fired.