@theblowout: my interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason i drink wasn't there
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@Dutch_50: The picture heading read “Panorama!” I thought it said “Paranormal” I wasted hours staring at these elongated images looking for ghosts.
@Kathleen_McGee: The cool thing about being broke is you can tell your friends you aren't drinking for a while & they think you're getting your shit together
@_NinJar: I was makin out with a cute girl but it got ruined when she ran her hand up my leg and squeezed all the spaghetti out of my pocket