@theblowout: my interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason i drink wasn't there
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joejwest: ROOMMATE: Big date later? ME: [combs hair] Yes R: Where? M: [fixes tie] The woods R: Is it with a bear again? M: [dabs honey behind ears] No
@SufficientCharm: I was doing well on my diet until I got my period and had to eat four pieces of pizza, a block of cheese, two candy bars, and seven houses.
@ilovepie84: Sometimes I drown cookies in milk in front of their family until they tell me the whereabouts of the Keebler Elves.