@kelkulus: My iPhone corrects "WHOA" to "WHOSE", which just made my text response to "I JUST HAD A BABY!!!" a little awkward.
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@PJTLynch: Buy your kids a tortoise. Then when you're elderly, they'll already have 40 years' experience feeding & loving something that barely moves
@sugabelly: I think parents are incredibly selfish and rude for having additional children without first consulting their existing child. 😒
@jakob_huber: "I hate hashtags!" Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall.
@Carbosly: There's this guy at work who's giving his wife a gym membership & a vegetable juicer for her birthday tomorrow. His name was Tom.