@kelkulus: My iPhone corrects "WHOA" to "WHOSE", which just made my text response to "I JUST HAD A BABY!!!" a little awkward.
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@KeetPotato: if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off
@DaddyJew: *slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?
@archerenemy: After 2 divorces, I gave up on that 'dream girl' shit long ago. At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I'll talk to her...