@bellicosejason: My iPod can hold over 3,000 songs, or one voicemail from my mom..
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@BillDixonish: If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.
@platinum2000: "If you're pregnant you can't get pregnant, the same goes for getting arrested, can you lick this?" I ask, trying to roll a joint in cuffs.
@OtherDanOBrien: *reads an article on a subject I know* This is bullshit *reads an article on a subject I don't know* If it's published it must be accurate