@bellicosejason: My iPod can hold over 3,000 songs, or one voicemail from my mom..
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@thevickster_sa: ~At a snowboarding store. Him: you need a base grind and a wax, it's been a while. Me: i know Him:... Me: Wait, what, oh the board...
@Brampersandon_: *zips up tent* [Wife]: What happened [Me,scratched up & clothes ripped]: I was uh.. *flashback to me being chased by a bee* wrestling a bear
@atanya1111: Husband: are you cooking something? Me: of course not Husband: the oven timer just went off Me: oh yeah, take the wine out of the freezer