@bellicosejason: My iPod can hold over 3,000 songs, or one voicemail from my mom..
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@urbanfriendden: extroverts love doing cocaine and having fights in sewers, while introverts cry and practice forbidden alchemy. there is no middle ground.
@LlamaInaTux: Turbulence is when the airplane hits someone's family photos backed up in the cloud.
@causticbob: A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..