@KKAlThani: My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said "You'll be okay, stop syncing about it". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together.
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@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] "Have any questions?" Think the 3 Little Pigs hired the Big Bad Wolf to blow their houses down to collect insurance money?
@batkaren: *lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU
@SteveKoehler22: The age-old question .... Are we alone ? Of course we're not. There are 320 million other idiots on Twitter besides us.