@daemonic3: My kid asked for help with her report but if I did it for her she won't learn! So I showed how to google, change name, & print on her own.
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@AndrewNadeau0: ME: The cupboard keeps opening HANDYMAN: I see why M: Ghosts? H: ...This screw's loose M: Right... But where would ghosts get a screwdriver?
@EricaTheThor: Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
@themiltron: Baby Bear: Someone’s been eating my porridge! Mama: That’s wonderful, dear. Papa never eats Mama’s porridge anymore. Papa: Jesus, Linda...