@DaddyJew: My kid can build an entire city with a stick & a bale of hay in Minecraft but you ask him to load the dishwasher & suddenly he's brain dead
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theroneman: Captain: You’re suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop.
@JesTurtle: I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail....
@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.