@LindaInDisguise: My kid is almost old enough for social media so we'll need to have "the talk" soon. You know, about your/you're and their/there/they're.
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@ieatanddrink: Listen buddy, I never said they were for sale. I just put the "FRESH EGGS" sign in my yard to brag
@Stella1070: I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway.
@krustythe_klown: Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife.
@Mr_Kapowski: Lady Astronaut: *eats all the chocolate* Guy Astronaut: You know we're on the space shuttle for- LA: SHUTTLE YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE ME SPACE