@Storminika: My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?
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@panmidwest: DATE: …your profile said you were a bodybuilder? ME [assembles crash test dummies for a living]: that's right
@AristotlesNZ: Him: Ha! I got your ATM card. Me: So? You'll never guess my PIN. Him: Is it 6969? Me:.. Him:. Me:.. Him:. Me: Seriously dude, give it back.
@hotsoccerchic69: Great Gatsby (2013), Wolf of Wallstreet (2013), Django Unchained (2012): Leonardo DiCaprio is rich and screams at people
@flashember: [Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. "Is it bad, doc?" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH